Getting back on the wagon is not nearly as easy as it sounds. You see, once you fall off the wagon, you roll several hundred yards away from the wagon as the wagon continues along. Then you lie there a little while succumbing to the injuries you incurred from falling off of the wagon. By the time you're ready to get back on, the wagon is hopelessly out of reach. By now, my wagon is probably somewhere on the west coast with a family and kids of his own. I don't know if I'd recognize my wagon if it ran me over.
The other day, I was at a festival when I checked my phone and saw an email from someone who found my blog. Among other really encouraging things, it said "Put down the cookie". I didn't have a cookie right at that time, but I did have a metaphorical cookie in the form of a 24 oz Mike's Hard Lemonade (who even drinks those??). The reader also said she had done a second Whole30, and that the second WAS harder than the first. So I'm not crazy? and someone else has done this? I think that was the kick in the ass I needed to go searching for my wayward wagon.
It's been a week since I saw that comment. I'm certainly not cruising along in my wagon yet, but I'm hot on its trail. One day, I went for a jog. Another day, I chose two hard boiled eggs instead of a fast food breakfast sandwich. And today, I took the a step from which there is no return-- I snapped some "Before" pictures. OHHH the "Before" pictures. Is there anything worse than when "Before" is "Today"?
So, I had a pair of *oh so tight* skinny black pants. They were always tight, but it didn't matter because they were goooood lookin'.
Today, as my prop for Picture Day, they are so far from good. It sorta looks like there is no way I actually pulled them up, so someone must have sewed them around me. Also, the seamstress underestimated how much fabric was needed, so she had someone else squeeze me together while she finished everything up. Then she had a great laugh about it later because I look RIDICULOUS.
Honestly though, I'm not that down on my appearance. I'm definitely not the biggest or heaviest I've ever been. I don't think I look too bad (when I'm not squeezing into tiny baby pants). But I'm not being healthy, and I don't feel great. I don't remember how fantastic I felt when I was Whole30ing... Fortunately, I wrote it down and it sounds incredible. I want to be back to that me. It's time for my hard reset.
I want to say thanks to the person who commented. I write this blog for myself because it keeps me accountable. With your help, it found a way to hold me accountable even when I was ignoring it. That's pretty cool :)
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